An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get

a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,

"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample


The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the

doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as

clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor

asked what happened and the man explained:

Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my

right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left

hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for

help. She tried with her right hand, then her left,

still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with

the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still

nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door

and she tried too, first with both hands, then an

armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her

knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the

jar open